auraesque | Stand Up

Stand Up

I was raped.

I was raped, and I am standing up. I am standing up for my grandmother who was nearly assaulted by her neighbor, for my friend who was molested on the train by a stranger, and for my sister who hears catcalls when she walks past construction sites. I am standing up because it just takes one person to start a movement.

I am tired of being treated like it was my fault. It was my fault for wearing makeup and dressing nicely and drinking beer. It was my fault for having nice hair and pretty eyes. It was my fault for having breasts and a vagina.

I have the right to dress as I please and drink what I want and dance to 80's one-hit wonders. But who gave rapists the right to decide that if they want something, they can take it? No one gave them the right to assault a woman or man or child.

In this world, rape survivors are stigmatized. We're sorry it happened, but, you know, maybe they should have done something a little differently?

What could I have done differently? What could my friends have done differently? It doesn't matter. Rape doesn't single out the drunk nympho from the poor side of town. Any number of my friends could have been assaulted, and 1 in 3 of them will be by the time they leave college. Most won't report it, because reporting a rape or assault is humiliating. I would know.

So stand up. Stand up for your sisters and mothers and brothers and sons. Stand up until our world changes the way it looks at assault survivors. We're not outcasts, suffering from some horrible disease that if you get too close, you'll catch it. We're your neighbors, your friends, your family members. Stand up for us, because the worst thing you can do is pretend it doesn't happen.

This entry will be open for at least a week. Link it, repost it, whatever. I won't friendlock it for a while.

Resources:
http://rainn.org
http://ncvc.org
http://pointswithpurpose.com

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't be sad for me. But I am glad you responded.

I'm sad for all of us. For all of us who have to utter the words "I was assaulted" or "I was raped" and for any of us who have to sit and continue to tell our story over and over to police, to friends, to loved ones. It's just so hard, and its true, society doesn't make it any better. All of my justice studies classes have pointed out that victims are constantly re-victimized by the justice system, and its true. We go in to tell what happened, and we get bombarded by all of the "its your fault" type of messages.

It's ridiculous.

I think you put that very well. Thank you.

I was just reading a story about a Saudi woman who was raped. The king just pardoned her - she doesn't have to recieve the 200 lashes that she was sentenced to for being alone with a man she wasn't related to. It's a sad state of affairs the whole world over, really.

I know that you said it's okay to repost this, etc., but I was wondering: Would you be okay with me printing this out and perhaps using parts of it (or the post in its entirety) for a sexual assault awareness event that I am planning on campus next semester? I have stats, I have numbers, but this is the most powerful thing I have ever read, and people need to see this. People need to see, in black and white, what rape does and what rape victims are capable of.

I understand if you don't want me to use it, and if so, that's fine. But honestly, this moved me so much. This needs to be seen.

You may excerpt it, but preface it by saying that it was written by a 21 year old college student at BU, etc. If it is a hard copy, include a link, but if you're reading it at an event, you don't need to.

Oh, obviously there would be a preface -- I want people to be clear on the fact that this is a personal account. I haven't decided how I'll use it yet, but I'm leaning towards reading it at the coffeehouse event we're planning as a kickoff.

Thank you for sharing this, for sharing your bravery and your spirit. ♥

Actually, I wouldn't mind using something like this for Reality Shock; in the guest column area. But that's only if you want to. I won't use it without your permission, and you can edit it and whatnot before its posted if you agree to it.

Well, I don't think it particularly showcases my mad writing skillz, but you are welcome to quote it in an editorial. Just cite and link back.

*applauds*

And the saddest part that every woman in the United States has been or will be a victim of sexual harassment or violence at one point or another.

You're made of awesome.

I love you, and I think you're very brave.

That sounds like my Holly. *loves*

I'm sorry Holly. :(

Despite the severity of this, I continue to be amazed by your writing. I felt like it was a poem.

Anyway, I'm sorry I wasn't there to kick some ass for you. You know I would.

YOU GO GIRL.

*hug*

~D

Thank you for your strength.

Sadly, rape is done in more then just a physical way. I think we have been 'raped' insome way or another. And we must all stand strong in the face of that. Wonderful post

I agree, this deserves applause :gives applause:

I love you ♥

Thank you for speaking out for those who can't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWqeV5s2Ado

Thank you for posting this.

You're welcome.

My best friend was sexually assulted yet wont do anything about it... at first I didn't understand her reasoning but this helped. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of courage it took for you to report yours.
I don't even know you and this brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing your story.

You are brave.

You are beautiful.

I love that you have told your story and it gives me strength to speak my own story with more strength.

Thank you. I want you to know that I have been following your entries for some time, and reading your story has given me strength.

Wow. Missy, I didn't realize you read my journal. I guess I assumed you didn't. Bad assumption on my part.

Listen today, tonight as I am going to unload a big set of raw, undeveloped parts of myself. I attended a workshop this weekend and I want to practice talking about the things I am learning.

Thank you. I'm glad we are talking more directly now.

Hey, I found this link through Marcella Chester's website. I found your writing to be frank, honest and something I could very much relate to.

I appreciate your boldness and bravery in posting publicly about your story. It seems you really have made the most of your survivor's "box of tools".

I'm a mod over at

_survivors_ and was wondering how you felt about the idea of having this posted there. Would you let me know?

The members are amazing. Everyone from all stages of trauma and recovery posts and it seems that we're all constantly learning and processing. I've even met some very close friends there.

Anyway, thank you so much for speaking out.

Edited 2009-07-16 14:38 (UTC)

Thank you for your comment.

I am constantly amazed by the strength of survivors, from those I meet in person to those I only know through text and links. I visited your community--thank you for linking me to it.

I don't mind if you excerpt a portion of "Stand Up" or any of the public entries. I have some trepidation about having the full post reproduced, but I don't mind being quoted or linked.

I see you applied for membership, too! I don't handle that end of the community, so it might take a few days before the other mods get a chance to look at your profile and approve you.

The thing is, we're ridiculously cautious about everything. We screen members, require trigger warnings for every post, log IP addresses in case of harassment, and we don't approve of fully reproducing anyone's writing. :-)

So I would be happy to wait until you're a member and can choose to post as much or as little of "Stand Up" as you want. Would that be most comfortable for you?

By the way, I am also a trained and active sexual assault advocate in my county. I have a huge respect for fellow advocates, but especially those who are also survivors. I always feel sort of a surge of joy when I find out that someone else is doing it, so kudos to you for that.

I am comfortable with you posting. I do not have any qualms about what portion you would like to post--you can reproduce whatever you feel is most helpful. You have my permission.

One of my proudest moments was completing my RAINN online hot line training with a class of 30 or so other men and women from all walks of life. It was empowering to see all these other people, some of whom were survivors and some were not, working toward a common goal. :)

thanks for writing your story for the world.

that took some guts and a shitload of courage

but thank you. you made me cry

pamelaperez.wordpress.com

Thank you for listening.

Hi Missy (?),

My name is Chelsea and I am the 2009 Blogathon contact for RAINN. I hope you don't mind that I read your story. It was very powerful, and it's clear that you are an incredibly strong woman who is ready to step up and make a change.

I want to thank you so much for signing up to blog for RAINN this Saturday, it means a lot to have you on board to help spread awareness.

I know that you want to be able to help as many people as possible through this event, and since you've got less than a week to secure all of your sponsors, I'd like to help.

Please email me directly at chelseab@rainn.org and I can help you to gain support. I promise it will be easy, and the fact that you already have many followers should make it even easier!

Thank you again, I look forward to hearing from you.

Chelsea

Thank you. I just sent you an e-mail.

I'll be your monitor for Blogathon 2009. I can be reached at tinyvoid@gmail.com, MSN: shenzi01@yahoo.com and at my blog: http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A962391

Hi Tina, it's nice to meet you. Thank you. :)

Good luck on the Blogathon, my fellow Blogathon-er.

I sponsored your blogathon.

RAINN is a great organization. I was sexually assaulted too and yes - the men always blame the women, when it is not our faults. Power to you for being so strong and standing up and being heard.

B @ The Love Blog

Thank you so much for sharing! HUGS!

You are right that it takes people to speak out to create a movement. I am with you ever step of the way. If I can help or be an ear I am here.

Victoria Placeo

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Stand Up

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wow

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Message from RAINN

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Hi, I'm Tina

Re: Hi, I&#39;m Tina

Hugs

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I admire you as well

Re: Hi, I'm Tina